How To Avoid An Ex
by FMB
Summary: FrUk. Really, just PWP. Arthur can't stand the sight of his ex, Alfred, and hides in the bathroom with Francis. Human names used.


I honestly just thought of this today, tell me what you think, because I think it's kind of crappy xD

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><p>"Ugh, why do you like that crap?" Francis complained as Arthur slurped down a Jamba-Juice smoothie. They were walking down the halls of their almost empty school together because Francis had to talk to a teacher, and Arthur wanted to get an overpriced smoothie from the venders.<p>

"It's good! Try some." Arthur insisted, holding out the pink-coloured smoothie to the Frenchman's face. Francis scowled at the drink, but snatched it from his friend's hand and drank a small bit. After contemplating the taste and staring down at the Styrofoam cup, he decided that it was, indeed, very delicious.

"…. Eyebrows." Francis scowled, giving his Englishman friend his drink back and making the blond laugh.

"Frog!" He teased back, drinking more of his smoothie.

Then, out of nowhere, Arthur came to a stop, his eyes wide and his straw hanging from his lips. Francis glanced over his shoulder at the frozen teen, raising a curious brow, then yelping when Arthur grabbed his wrist and tugged him into the men's bathroom with him.

"Ouch! Mon Dieu, what was that for?" Francis whined after being shoved into one of the stalls and onto the toilet. Arthur just straddled his friend, panting lightly and slurping more smoothie.

"Sorry, I saw my ex… I really don't want to see him right now." Arthur tried explaining, but Francis rolled his eyes and started scolding him about standing up for himself and being confident in situations like that.

Arthur just grumbled as he was lectured, glaring down at the Frenchman he was still sitting on. Arthur's ex, a loud and obnoxious Mr. Alfred F. Jones, had broken up with the sensitive gentleman only three days ago, and it was found out not too long after (a day, to be precise) that Alfred had been cheating on the smaller but older blond with the Japanese exchange student, Kiku Honda. Of course, Arthur was distraught with the break-up, and even more heartbroken when he discovered the truth behind the split. Francis was the one who told Arthur, so he knew everything already.

"You know what you should do, mon cher? You should strut down those halls and show that American that you don't need him to-" The taller blond was cut off to the sound of the bathroom door opening, and feet stepping in.

"Arthur? Dude, I know I saw you." Alfred called out boredly, and Arthur wore a panicked expression and started chewing on his lip.

"What do we do?" Arthur whispered, and Francis shook his head and shrugged, putting his hands on Arthur's hips to keep him still. He was wiggling around too much, and with their precarious positioning, he was rubbing up against some sensitive equipment.

"Arthur, come on! I just wanna talk to you." Alfred continued calling out, kicking in one of the stalls in search for his ex. Arthur jumped, rubbing up against his best friend particularly hard, making him emit a low groan.

"Arthur?" Alfred asked, the sound of his shoes stopping on the linoleum. Arthur just glared at his friend, who's cheeks were bright red and he was trying to bite back another moan. But then, an idea struck the both of them like lightning, and Arthur blushed and smirked.

"A-…. Ah!" He moaned out shyly, moving a little closer to Francis, who rolled his eyes at the fake moan.

"Sot, you have to sound genuine!" Francis whispered quickly, and Arthur rolled his eyes and his shoulders shot up.

"I don't know how to sound genuine! I'm not some loose slut like you!" He whispered back hastily, and the continued to argue in whispers until Alfred kicked open another stall, making them both jump.

"Just… Just let me, okay? Let- tsk, Let me!" Francis breathed, and Arthur was about to protest, but Francis was quicker than the Englishman's mouth. The smaller blond let out a sharp gasp when his front was fondled, and the noise floated out from the back of his mouth, sounding like music to the Frenchman's ears.

"_That_ is a genuine moan!" Francis muttered, and Arthur nodded and let out another one without Francis' help.

"Arthur, what the fuck?" Alfred called out, kicking in the door to the stall right beside them and growling, "What are you doing?"

Arthur just let out another moan, and Francis joined in with a grunt, lifting his foot and gently shaking the door, as if they were humping against it. Alfred growled again and tried kicking open the door, and Arthur let out a particularly loud cry, adding a lusty "Harder!" at the end.

"Who the hell is with you?" Alfred yelled urgently, and Francis shook the door a little faster with his foot. The two kept on moaning and grunting, and Arthur drank a little from his smoothie, then offered some more to his friend beneath him.

"Oh, Merci." Francis whispered, sipping some through the straw, then groaning again and slapping his hand against Arthur's leg, making him yelp.

"Oh yes!" Arthur cried out, glaring at his friend who just smirked in return, "Spank me hard!"

"Hey, hey, call me' daddy', just to piss him off!" Francis suggested in a whisper, making Alfred snort quietly and nod. Francis slapped his leg again, the noise echoing through the room along with the squeaking stall door.

"Punish me, Daddy! Punish me!" Arthur moaned out breathily, tilting his head back while doing so. Francis tilted his own head back, covering his mouth in laughter.

"Dammit, get your hands off of him!" Alfred shrieked, making the two almost start cracking up. They kept going, though, and Alfred let out a shaky cry, still trying not to laugh. Then, they heard Alfred step into the stall beside them, and Arthur's eyes widened and he quickly tapped Francis' shoulder.

"He's going to look over!" He whispered in a panic, and Francis acted on impulse, lifting Arthur off his lap, then slamming him against the stall door, making the man drop his Jamba-Juice. Arthur whined because of his lost drink, but even that sounded dirty to the enraged Alfred. Francis kept shaking the door, making it look like he was humping the shorter Brit, but not actually rubbing against him. Arthur just wrapped his legs around the Frenchman, gripping onto his shoulders and letting out another moan.

"Pretend you're coming." Francis whispered into the Brit's ear, and Arthur nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out an incline of moans that got louder and louder.

"F-Fran… Francis!" He cried out, making the Frenchman shudder in delight from his name being called. Alfred had gotten onto the metal bar on the stall wall and peeked over the top just in time to see what he imagined Arthur's orgasm face to be, which was actually just the expression he wore when he was awkwardly pinned against a stall door without his Jamba-Juice.

Francis sealed the deal, pulling his head back far enough to kiss his best friend, who kissed back just for the show. Alfred yelled in anger, jumping back to the floor and storming out of the bathroom, leaving the duo to themselves.

When the door was heard being slammed shut, Francis pulled away from the messy kiss, and they both started laughing. Francis helped Arthur to his feet, still laughing their asses off.

"Oh… oh my god! He actually believed it!" Arthur snorted out, clinging to his tall friend for support as he doubled over from laughter. Francis slunk back down onto the toilet, pulling Arthur back onto his lap, and soon they both calmed down from their indecent high.

"Mon dieu, you put on quite the act!" Francis complimented, and Arthur blushed lightly and chuckled.

"You were the one shaking the door! Oh, he must have been livid!" Arthur squealed in delight, and Francis finally used this time to look over his friend who was still straddling him. He didn't really look too bad, and his moans had been exceptionally magnificent. Arthur was still panting from the excitement, and he raised a thick brow at the man beneath him.

"What're you stating at, frog?" He asked, his accent thick and melodic, and Francis caught himself thinking if having sex with this man would be as exciting as they let on.

"Hey, mon cher…" Francis all but purred, making Arthur feel wary of what he might say next.

"What?" He asked when the teen didn't continue immediately, narrowing his eyes slightly. He shifted uncomfortable in the man's lap, keeping his eyes on the blue ones that stared up at him.

"We should have sex." Francis flirted, and Arthur blushed a bright red, shaking his head immediately.

"No! Bloody hell!" Arthur quickly denied, and Francis whined and gripped Arthur's hips again, grinding up against him, making the blond shiver and sigh. "Dammit, frog…."

"Just once?" Francis pleaded, and Arthur snorted and crossed his arms.

"Look, I know you're a whore and everything, but having sex with me isn't going to be as fun as pissing an ex off by pretending we had sex." Arthur tried persuading the man, but he didn't buy it.

"I think it'll be even more fun, mon cher." Francis whispered huskily, rubbing his thumb in circles on Arthur's hips. The Brit blushed brighter and huffed, keeping his arms crossed.

"You owe me Jamba-Juice." He quickly changed the subject, but Francis just smirked and brought it back with a dirty, "I have a different smoothie-like refreshment you can drink from me."

"Frog!" Arthur gasped, slapping his friend's shoulder, then getting a flat-handed slap to his behind, making him flinch and moan in pain.

"Oh, you like being spanked?" Francis asked coyly, but Arthur shook his head no, trying to hide his growing erection, but it was hard to do that when sitting on the man.

"Shut up! Keep your hands to yourself, git!" Arthur whined, but Francis spanked him again, making the boy's body jerk and moan again. He couldn't help himself, he felt so dirty, but so turned on at the same time.

"One more…." He panted, and Francis chuckled and lifted Arthur up a bit so he could spank him harder. Arthur let out a long whine and rolled his hips back, silently asking for more. Francis complied eagerly, spanking the boy harder and harder, making Arthur's cried become louder.

"Oh, mon cher, you're a bad boy, aren't you?" Francis purred and Arthur moaned cutely and clung to Francis even tighter.

"Yes, oh, bloody hell _yes_…." He moaned, jerking with each slap and biting down on his lip, "Mmm… Francis…"

"What is it, mon amour?" Francis whispered, biting down on Arthur's neck and giving him one last, hard slap. He mewled, panting heavily afterwards and rolling his hips.

"F-fuck… hnn… I need… something…" Arthur whispered, feeling embarrassed, but his lust trumped.

"What do you need?" Francis continued to tease, running his hands down the back of Arthur's pants and groping his sore ass, kneading the globes with his fingers.

"Don't make me say it!" Arthur whined, but Francis wouldn't continue until he said it. He brushed his fingers against Arthur's anus, making the boy shiver and moan as a plea.

"Dammit, I need you in me! I need you in me right now! I need your dick!" Arthur begged, and Francis chuckled happily, pulling his fingers away to lick on them, but when he started licking, Arthur whined and moved closer, licking Francis' hand too. The older blond was surprised at this, and he allowed the Brit to suck on his fingers, feeling even more turned on at how slutty Arthur was becoming.

"Ohonhonhon, Arthur, mon cher, why would you hide this beautiful side from me?" Francis purred, and Arthur blushed more and pulled away from Francis' fingers.

"Shut up and finger me." Arthur commanded, slipping his pants and boxers down. Francis raised a brow, but continued to smirk. He brought his fingers to Arthur's backside, rubbing his entrance teasingly, feeling it twitch against his finger. Arthur blushed more and sighed, biting on his lower lip while waiting impatiently. Francis carefully slid in one finger, sliding it in and out, prepping the mewling Brit gently.

He added a second finger, then a third, and he quickly hunted down the boy's prostate, ramming against it roughly and making Arthur jerk and moan. He was leaking so much pre-cum that Francis thought he would climax soon, but he didn't want that without penetrating the boy. He pulled his fingers out when he thought Arthur to be nicely stretched, and he messed with the tie in his hair and wrapped it around the younger blonde's weeping cock, tightening it to make a make-shift cock ring. Arthur gasped a little and bit on his lip, but he didn't protest.

"Lift your hips." Francis instructed, and Arthur did as told, kneeling on the edges of the toilet and running a hand through Francis' long blonde hair that hug past his chin.

When Arthur felt Francis' dick poking at his entrance, his whole body shuddered and he closed his eyes, whining as the tip penetrated him. The Brit eagerly pressed down, forcing more of the man into him. Francis shuddered and groaned, biting his lip from the friction. They hadn't used proper lube, and they only had a little bit of saliva. Either Arthur really liked it rough or he was just that eager to be fucked.

Arthur slowly lifted his hips, then pushed back down again, moaning lightly and tilting his head back. Francis gripped the shorter blonde's hips, lifting him again and slamming his hips down, making the Brit gasp and moan loudly, begging for more.

Francis lifted Arthur up as he stood, still connected to the boy, and he pressed the blond against the stall door like before, but this time, he actually started thrusting into him roughly, keeping one hand on the door and the other hand on Arthur's ass to keep him up. Arthur wrapped his legs around Francis' waist, moaning out his name as he was rammed against the shuttering metal door.

"Oh, fuck yes, Francis, rodger me faster!" Arthur begged between moans, and Francis smirked and pressed his lips against Arthur's, kissing him forcefully as he sped up his pace. Their tongues mingled sloppily, Arthur's moans and cries being swallowed by Francis. The door was rattling so hard that the lock wiggled free, spilling the two teens on the linoleum floor.

Francis grunted when he landed atop Arthur, who was wincing and rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh…. That's such a turn-off…." Arthur whined, and Francis snorted a little.

"No kidding…." He agreed, about to pull out of the Brit, but he kept his legs tight around Francis' waist.

"No, I haven't come yet!" Arthur whined, and Francis' brows raised in shock.

"Mon Dieu, you dirty whore!" Francis teased, gripping his thighs and thrusting in again, making Arthur moan and arch his back.

"Shut up, Frog!" He groaned, gripping Francis' shoulders tightly. Francis groaned and bit down on Arthur's shoulder, thrusting faster and harder. Arthur's breath was becoming ragged and Francis' was beginning to lose his tempo. Arthur was so close, and he could've come if he didn't have the rubber band around his dick. Francis felt the heat in his lower regions building up immensely, and he groaned out Arthur's name as he came within the boy beneath him, making Arthur shudder and whimper.

"F-Francis… let me… Please…" Arthur begged, twitching and feeling empty as Francis pulled out of him. The Frenchman moved down, kissing Arthur's neck, then pulling up Arthur's shirt to kiss his stomach and his pelvis. When he got to the pleading boy's penis, he pulled off the rubber band and stuck the whole thing in his mouth, making Arthur shiver and jolt from the feeling.

"Oh hell… your mouth…" Arthur mewled, his hips bucking into Francis' mouth. Francis started bobbing his head, letting his tongue lap up the bottom of Arthur's quivering dick.

"Francis…! Francis…!" He whined, his eyes shut tight as his body shook with the intensity of his orgasm. His sperm filled Francis' mouth, and he swallowed every drop. Arthur shivered as Francis pulled away, and they shared a quick and emotionless kiss. When they caught their breaths, Francis got to his knees and fixed his pants, and when Arthur was about to pull his own pants up, the Frenchman stopped him.

"You might want to try and get my… stuff out of you. It'll be uncomfortable later." Francis suggested and Arthur snorted.

"Or you can eat it out of me. Frog. I can't believe you convinced me to do this." Arthur whined, sitting up and feeling Francis' essence start to leak. Francis shrugged and forced Arthur back on the floor, lifting his hips and kissing a thigh, despite the complaints from Arthur.

"Ohonhonhonhon, don't try to fight it, mon cher!" He purred, forcing his tongue deep into the struggling blond. Arthur's back arched and he whined, rolling his head to the side.

"Oh my god…!" Arthur gasped, shivering once again as Francis licked his insides clean. Francis didn't like tasting himself, but somehow, eating it out of Arthur made it worthwhile. When he was completely empty, Francis pulled away and swallowed, licking his lips and chuckling.

"Damn Frog!" Arthur yelled, tugging his pants up and delivering a rough punch to the man's shoulder, "Bloody hell! Wanker!"

"Oh, don't be like that, mon cher!" Francis chuckled, wrapping his arms around Arthur, "Hey, can we do this again sometime?"

"What?" Arthur snorted, glaring at his alleged 'friend'.

"We can be friends with benefits. Come on, whenever we want to, we just have sex. Wherever. Wouldn't it be fun?" Francis tried to persuade the blond, who just rolled his eyes and shook his head. He stayed silent for a while, and Francis huffed and let go of the blond, getting to his feet and fixing his shirt.

"Well, can I at least by you another Jamba-Juice? I made you drop your last one." Francis attempted, and Arthur looked over at the floor where his smoothie had poured out. He tilted his head, then got to his feet and took Francis' arm and led him out of the bathroom, also straightening out his shirt.

"It better be strawberry." He grumbled, "and we're not going to be having sex in school anymore."

"Quoi? Pourquoi?" Francis whined, hugging Arthur around the waist and whining further. They both saw Alfred standing by the lockers with his friends and that Japanese exchange student in the American's arms. Arthur was about to freeze up again, but Francis took action and kissed Arthur deeply, making Arthur squeal in shock and Alfred narrow his eyes in hatred. The bespectacled blond marched off with the exchange student, and Francis pulled away from his friend.

"See? I can help!" Francis exclaimed, and Arthur snorted.

"I wasn't saying we wouldn't be having sex any longer, Frog." Arthur muttered, making Francis' eyes widen and he smiled.

"Mon amant britannique! Vous etes tellement parfait!" Francis cheered, picking up Arthur and swinging him around, making the man yelp and swat at his shoulders.

"Dammit, put me down!" He whined, not wanting to admit that he liked being carried around like this. "And get me my bloody smoothie!"

"Oui, mon amour!" Francis purred, carrying him to the vender for another smoothie.


End file.
